Coping with Empty Nest Syndrome:

How to Maintain Courage and Hope

By Sheila Joyner

“Easy Come, Easy Go!”

Well, not really – Children come into your life so easily, so joyous, and make your world a wonderful place to live. But when it is time for them to leave for college, your world feels like it is crashing down.

Last year my friend Amy was so distraught after her son went to college that she thought something was seriously wrong. She bought a book to help but nothing seemed to help. Eventually she learned she just had to let time take its course. I would tell her, “I can’t imagine what will happen when Maggie leaves!”

Well I can now imagine. My heart feels so empty, the house is quiet and I can’t protect my daughter anymore.

Several years ago, any time I would mention my friend Cheryl’s daughter, she would cry. She would say, “You must think I’m crazy.” I didn’t because I knew better. I learned to enjoy and cherish every moment with my children, because I knew I only have 18 years with them at home. I’ve watched Maggie meet the Broncos, then cheer at football games, play basketball games, perform plays (every single performance), debate at mock trial, run cross country, etc.

When these activities weren’t going on, kids were constantly at the house studying with her. My friends told me, “You have so much going on now that you will be devastated when she leaves and life will be different.” They were absolutely right.

But I’ve decided to take action. I have a Facebook page from my 30-year high school reunion, and I asked my recent and old friends for some help. I asked, “How can I get over this void in my life, my daughter going to college?” Here are some helpful responses:

• “This is what you raised her for. Now enjoy seeing all that you have taught her. Keep looking at the positive, partly sunny days, and not the partly cloudy times.”
• “Pray and then pray some more.”
• “Send cookies!”
• “Talk to her or text regularly.” (Regretfully, I do this too much so far.)
• “Take her to lunch or dinner sometimes. College kids are always looking for a free meal.”
• “Send her mail giving her encouragement.”
• “Don’t think you are finished teaching them. You can still influence them and strengthen your relationship when they are home.”

The bottom line is “This too shall pass!” But the fact remains that I miss you, Maggie. Be careful, make wise decisions, never forget all the good times and bad ones we shared and the talks we had every night before bed. You will do great in college! I will always be there for you and above all, I LOVE YOU!