16/Dec/2008
‘Tis the Season
Family: The Only Friends We Do Not Choose in Life
By Jay Hogewood
University Baptist Church
I’ve got an older brother that I resemble. We walk with the same gait and laugh so similar it’s hard to tell which one of us is laughing. My own children can’t tell us apart on the phone.
But the fact is, we’re as different as night and day: He’s smart. I try. He graduated cum laude. I finished. He’s steady. I’m sporadic. When he thinks football, I’m throwing baseball. We never could align our minds.
This leads me to the most disturbing of truths: we might be born into a family, but this does not mean they are the friends we’d choose. So when this season of holidays rolls around, I am reminded of all the ways I don’t believe that time with family is peaceful or relaxing. All the expectations of warm Christmas cheer and gracious family get-togethers run into the freight train of reality.
Not that any one of us gets ugly or mean. We don’t throw food or pick fights. Conversations for the most part are civil and well-groomed. But just under the festive surface is the grip of tension. “Are we actually related to each other?” Once or twice I bet all of us wonder. Meanwhile, the kids play the Wii in ignorant bliss.
Each year we load up the car and chug to Birmingham. The closer we get, the more I pray. Funny how family visits increase my visits with God. And that’s probably for the best. Because just after dinner starts and we’ve gathered around the table, I’m face to face with Jesus again.
My wise step-mom places the crèche with the travel weary Magi, donkeys and little ceramic manger in the centerpiece. A strategic move, I believe. That way, throughout our family meal, I’m eyeballing Jesus. Then I can’t help but wonder: how on God’s green earth did such love and grace enter this world of war, confusion, tension and the lives of billions of families with all our different dysfunctions?
Just then I’m touched with a more beautiful truth. For Jesus, peace never meant that all struggles and troubles would melt away. Peace for Jesus meant the presence of love – a love that would visit us in the face of our stress, that would claim our hearts and calm them, even as families sit down for a meal.
So pass your plate around and serve it up. It might just be that we’ve all got plenty more dysfunction plopped on our plate. But how about some peace? We all need another helping of that. For God’s sake - and ours.
Cheers,
Jay
Family: The Only Friends We Do Not Choose in Life
By Jay Hogewood
University Baptist Church
I’ve got an older brother that I resemble. We walk with the same gait and laugh so similar it’s hard to tell which one of us is laughing. My own children can’t tell us apart on the phone.
But the fact is, we’re as different as night and day: He’s smart. I try. He graduated cum laude. I finished. He’s steady. I’m sporadic. When he thinks football, I’m throwing baseball. We never could align our minds.
This leads me to the most disturbing of truths: we might be born into a family, but this does not mean they are the friends we’d choose. So when this season of holidays rolls around, I am reminded of all the ways I don’t believe that time with family is peaceful or relaxing. All the expectations of warm Christmas cheer and gracious family get-togethers run into the freight train of reality.
Not that any one of us gets ugly or mean. We don’t throw food or pick fights. Conversations for the most part are civil and well-groomed. But just under the festive surface is the grip of tension. “Are we actually related to each other?” Once or twice I bet all of us wonder. Meanwhile, the kids play the Wii in ignorant bliss.
Each year we load up the car and chug to Birmingham. The closer we get, the more I pray. Funny how family visits increase my visits with God. And that’s probably for the best. Because just after dinner starts and we’ve gathered around the table, I’m face to face with Jesus again.
My wise step-mom places the crèche with the travel weary Magi, donkeys and little ceramic manger in the centerpiece. A strategic move, I believe. That way, throughout our family meal, I’m eyeballing Jesus. Then I can’t help but wonder: how on God’s green earth did such love and grace enter this world of war, confusion, tension and the lives of billions of families with all our different dysfunctions?
Just then I’m touched with a more beautiful truth. For Jesus, peace never meant that all struggles and troubles would melt away. Peace for Jesus meant the presence of love – a love that would visit us in the face of our stress, that would claim our hearts and calm them, even as families sit down for a meal.
So pass your plate around and serve it up. It might just be that we’ve all got plenty more dysfunction plopped on our plate. But how about some peace? We all need another helping of that. For God’s sake - and ours.
Cheers,
Jay
