No more “Gi-me, Gi-me” For You and Your Child

By Jill Rigby Garner

Editor’s Note: This is the first in a series of articles from renowned parent adviser and Baton Rouge resident Jill Rigby Garner. She has been featured on numerous television and radio shows and has received praise from students, teachers and experts like Dr. Laura Schlessinger.

I must confess I have chocolate on the brain as I write today.  Everywhere I turn I see chocolate, smell chocolate, and yes, eat chocolate.  Sitting under a lamppost that strangely resembles a chocolate kiss, I'm dripping in sugar at "the sweetest place on earth"- Hershey, Pennsylvania.  This magical kingdom is filled with every child's "vision of sugarplums."  This is Candyland come to life.

But, alas, the sound of trouble is in the air. Little ones are screaming, “Gi-me, Gi-me,” while weary parents are screaming, “Enough, Enough!”

Puzzling to see kids in the midst of paradise so dissatisfied.

As a matter of fact, it seemed the more parents gave, the more kids wanted.

Several years ago one of my sons remarked, “I think I’ll give my kids less, so they’ll love me more.” Profound wisdom!

So, why are these kids never satisfied? Could it be we’re creating greedy little ones? Remember the car you purchased last year with all the extras? Plans were to keep it till it finally stopped running one day. That was until your neighbor brought home this year’s model with the new tracking system. Now you’re calculating a trade-in. Don’t think your kids don’t notice your own “gi-me, gi-me” struggles.

If your child is growing up in “candy land” with his every whim granted, and watching you do the same, he’ll never be satisfied. He’ll spend his life looking for more, while missing the simple everyday pleasures. Overindulgence only offers fleeting moments of happiness for our children, while love and devotion offer lasting joy.

Today ended with a stroll through Hershey’s enchanted Children’s Garden. I marveled as I watched the eyes of little ones sparkle as they followed butterflies from one flower to the next. Giggles of children filled the air as they ran through a maze of boxwood hedges looking for escape. Young and old alike circled the heart-shaped pool to watch the dancing sphere perform a delicate balancing act atop a shooting fountain.

Boys were waiting for a turn in the tug boat. Girls were singing to an audience of little critters in the gazebo. Kids spent hours trying to solve the alphabet puzzle along the trails.

You know, not once did I hear “Gi-me, Gi-me” in the garden. Must have been because the kids had all they needed…their own imaginations and the freedom to explore!

Jill Rigby Garner is an award-winning author, accomplished speaker, family advocate, and Founder of Manners of the Heart. Jill’s acclaimed book, Raising Respectful Children in a Disrespectful World (Simon & Schuster), the 2009 Mom’s Choice Award for parenting, is available at a bookstore near you. Please visit www.mannersoftheheart.org for more information.